Whisper My Last Goodbye Page 10

  The boozer was buzzing. The football match was coming to a climax on the big screen and all the blokes were sat watching it. Some of them were stood up and it was a nail-biting situation. Bridget stood at the bar and smiled at the man near her, dishy he was, eye candy. “What score is it, are we winning or what?” The man smiled at her and loved that she was interested in football. Usually the females in the pub sat as far away from the big screen as possible. “It’s one each darling. We’ve had a few shots at goal but up to now nothing. There’s ten minutes left so anything could happen. Rooney’s playing like a fairy though, they should take him off and let one of the others have a crack at it. The fat scouser needs to leave the pies alone.”

  Bridget fluttered her eyelashes, she had his full attention. “The team is struggling since Sir Alex left. He should have stayed a bit longer I think.” Oh this girl knew her stuff, or so he thought. Little did he know that she couldn’t have given a toss about the score, she was more interested in him, his body, his come-to-bed eyes. Harpur looked round at the men watching the football. Where was Neil? She couldn’t see him. Stretching her neck further she spotted him sat in the corner looking at his phone. This was weird, he never ever missed a second of the game. Raising his head he spotted her. Harpur walked over to where he was, he was shocked to see her. “Alright babes, what are you doing here, are you getting the beer in then or what?”

  “I don’t need a reason do I? I just popped in with Bridget, wherever she is.” She turned her head, trying to locate her. She could see her friend at the bar chatting away to her newfound friend.

  “She’s like a dog on heat,” Neil mumbled under his breath.

  Harpur heard him and poked a single finger in his waist. “Turn it in gobshite, that’s my friend, remember that.” Why had she even come here? She was depressed now, fed up. Neil looked over at the TV as his football team made an attack on the goal. “Go on you red fuckers, go on, shoot. Orr, for fuck’s sake, pass it you muppet.”

  Harpur couldn’t take it a second longer. She walked back over to Bridget and stood at the side of her. “Are you alright here, I’m going to shoot off. Neil’s doing my head in already.” Bridget nodded and whispered in her ear. “He’s mint isn’t he? I’m sorted you get off. I’ll ring you tomorrow and fill you in.” The girls pecked each other on the cheek. “See you love, sorry I’m no fun tonight.” Bridget had already turned her head and never heard what she’s said. One last glance over her shoulder and she was gone.

  Harpur drove around Harpurhey for at least ten minutes looking for Tony Wallis. There was no sign of him. Where was he hiding? His days were numbered and when she got her hands on him she would wring his neck. Tomorrow was another day though and she was going to make it her business to corner him. Oh yes, she wanted answers and she was going nowhere until he told her what he knew about how her brother met his death.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The Murray household was in a state, it looked like a bomb had hit the place. Harpur was running around like a headless chicken, rushing, moaning. “Joanne, where are Joseph’s shoes? We’re going to be late for the visit if you don’t get a move on. Neil, are you ready?” Harpur dipped her head under the coffee table and reached for her grandson’s trainers. Joanne walked into the room and was giving herself the once-over in the mirror. Harpur caught a glimpse of her from where she was. “Never mind totting yourself up, get him sorted out. Bleeding hell, is this family ever early for anything?”

  Neil walked into the room and winked over at Joanne. “You’re looking nice.”

  Harpur twisted her head back over her shoulder and growled over at her husband. “She will do, all bleeding morning she’s been getting ready. Who do you think cleans this house, the fairies? I wish I had the time to dress up too?”

  Ouch, someone was jealous. It was fair to say she’d seen her arse that her husband was giving out compliments. When was the last time he said anything nice to her, she couldn’t remember? From the corner of her eye she studied Joanne. She did look pretty; nice legs, big tits, what more could a man ask for she supposed. Harpur hadn’t even had time to brush her hair properly, she looked haggard. Well, that was all going to change as from today. She was sick to the back teeth of feeling like shite. It was time to get herself back in the game. Yes, she would have a revamp of her wardrobe, a new hairstyle, and start eating healthily again. Things in her life had slipped over these last few months and it was fair to say she’s let herself go a bit. Bridget was right, Botox was the way forward. Yeah, a bit of facial tightening was just what she needed. Neil came over to where she was and sighed. “I’ve got to put petrol in the car too. I’ll tell you what, it costs a fortune each week to go and see Sam.”

  She shook her head he was such a tight bastard. “Will you stop moaning about money. If you’re that arsed about putting petrol in the car, then I’ll give you the money myself.”

  Neil never said a word. Honest to God, this man kept his mouth shut. No shame whatsoever. There was no, ‘Oh, I was only joking put your money away.’ He was really willing for her to pay for the fuel to go and see Sam. No wonder she was drifting away from him. Harpur was no gold digger but to have a man treating her to nice things every now and then wouldn’t have gone amiss. Her husband didn’t make her feel special anymore. Joanne stood up and swung her handbag over her shoulder. “Joseph, come on put your coat on now. We are going to see your daddy. You can draw him a picture like you did last time.”

  “Mummy, can I have some hot chocolate again and some crisps?” Joanne ignored him and dropped her head low. Yep, Harpur would be stuck with the food bill too. It was always the same when they went to visit her son because Neil never stuck his hand in his pocket for anything. One last look around the house and the family left. It took over an hour to drive to the prison and that was if the traffic was good. It was a ball ache really and the sooner he was home, the better it would be. Neil stood at the car waiting to let Joanne and Joseph in the car. It was only a two-door vehicle and you could see he was losing his rag waiting for them both to get inside. The journey began and after a stop at the petrol station they headed straight for the motorway. Joseph looked out of the window taking in everything he saw, sheep and cows. Harpur sat in the front of the car and her phone vibrated. It was on silent mode and that was the way she was keeping it. There was no way she wanted any nosy parkers monitoring her phone. Dipping her head low, she checked her message. Neil was singing and seemed oblivious to anything she was doing.

  “Good morning gorgeous, maybe you are right. I do still fancy you. So, lets Skype and see if you still fancy me. I know you’re married but we are only chatting aren’t we, or are you planning to run away with me? Love Dessie X”

  Oh this man had her heart racing for sure, her cheeks were bright red and she was burning up. Quickly, she opened the window and let some fresh air inside. She smirked to herself, this was exciting, dangerous even, but she didn’t care anymore. She started to type a reply back.

  “Me, running away with you? Get a grip! Once bitten, twice shy. You had your chance with me and blew it. Go and find someone who will listen to your bullshit. I’m immune to it. Love Harpur X”

  She added lots of laughing faces. Harpur stuck her phone back in her pocket. It was never far from her side these days, she was constantly on it. Twenty-four hours a day they were texting each other, it was non-stop. Joanne leaned forward in her chair and rested her hand on the back of Harpur’s seat. “Erm, I’ve decided I’m not telling Sam I’ve been going out to the pub. You know what he’s like, he just goes skitz and makes my life a misery. It’s just easier if I don’t tell him. If that’s alright with you two?”

  Neil looked at her through his rear view mirror. “Oh, we don’t like liars in our house do we Harpur?” he was being smart with himself and trying to make a joke out of it. Harpur looked over at him and wondered if he was having a pop at her. Did he know she was texting somebody? No, he never checked her phone, he didn’t care what she did, surely she wa
s being paranoid. She licked her bottom lip and turned her head away, looking out of the window as she replied. “It’s up to you love, but don’t ask me to lie to my son. I mean, if you’ve been out, just tell him the truth. I don’t want any part of it.”

  Neil gasped his breath. “Bleeding hell, help the girl out. She’s not asking for much is she? You’ve heard him when he has a go at her. Why would you put her through that?”

  Harpur was sick to death of him sticking his nose in where it wasn’t wanted and for that matter, since when did he start caring about Joanne getting into shit? Usually he was slagging her off himself. “I said I’m not lying. If he doesn’t ask, then I won’t tell him.”

  “Oh, I forgot about mummy’s boy. He’s her golden balls Joanne. A bond that can never be broken. You know, mother and son.” What a prick her husband was today. If he had something to say then he should just come out and say it instead of going round the houses. It was obvious that something had got his back up. It couldn’t have been the price of petrol because his wife had just paid for it, not him. They travelled on in silence, you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.

  The car pulled at Lancaster Farms Prison grounds. It was a fairly new jail and a lot nicer than some she’d been to visit in the past. And this woman had been to some shitholes. Brady had always been in and out of the nick in his younger days and she’d travelled up and down the country to see him. Strangeways was the jail her brother tended to end up in. In his own words, he loved a bit of time behind bars. He always told her it helped him to get clean and sort his head out. His last stretch was a three-year sentence. It broke his back if he was being honest and he said that would be the last time he would ever go back to jail. He was getting too old for it, he said. And funnily enough, Brady stayed true to his word. He never went back, he kept a low profile and never put his neck on the line anymore. In his younger days he would take the blame for all his mates and never grass them up. He was a fool, he’d wasted so many years stuck in the big house doing time for other people while they walked the streets without a care in the world. His criminal record was lengthy. Everything was on it; burglary, GBH, kidnapping, supplying class A drugs, the list was endless.

  Harpur got out of the car and stretched her legs. She reached in her coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette. She needed nicotine and fast, her nerves were shattered today. This place always made her feel anxious and she hated that her son was locked away behind the big brick walls. Lots of other visitors were pulling up in the car park now and it was a rush to get in before them. Booking in the jail was a task in itself. You had to show your proof of address, passport, get searched, get your hand stamped, empty your pockets and that was just the start of it. “Neil, go and start booking us in. I’ll finish my cig and I’ll follow you in. Joanne, get a grip of Joseph before he gets knocked down. Hold his hand or something. For crying out loud! Look! Get him before he goes missing.”

  Joanne rolled her eyes and her heels clicked along the gravel path leading towards the visiting centre. Neil lagged slowly behind her. Harpur took a few more blasts of her fag before she flicked the butt into the area behind her. Her hands were shaking and she was starting to feel hot and sweaty. Taking deep breaths, she started to walk towards the centre. The prison was busy today. Young girls holding babies, mothers sat staring at four walls, wondering how it was possible that the fruit of their womb had ended up in such a horrific place. Then there were the thugs, the toy gangsters, loud and full of attitude. Yes, there were lots of different people here today from different walks of life.

  The family booked into the prison and they knew they had a good twenty-minute or so wait before they would be let over to the main prison. That’s when they would be searched, frisked, made to feel like they were criminals too. The screws treated everyone the same really, no matter how you looked. They were aware that getting drugs into the prison was something that people would do anything to blag the system for, even placing drugs into their arses, vaginas. Yes, you would be amazed at the lengths people had gone to conceal drugs.

  Harpur lifted Joseph up onto her lap and bounced him about. “Are you looking forward to seeing your daddy? He will be so happy to see his big boy. Look how big you’ve grown over these last few months.” It was true, Joseph had sprung up in size. His clothes were all too small for him now and Harpur had been out and replaced most of his old stuff. She loved her grandson and she was doing her best for him. In her eyes, she let her own son down and wanted to make amends by doing it right this time with his son.

  A screw appeared and cleared his throat to grab their attention and started to read out the names for the visit. Once she heard her son’s name she stood up. “Make sure all your stuff is in the locker, we don’t want to have to come back over here do we?” The sentence was aimed at Neil. He was a right dimwit. He never checked his pockets and always found something inside them as soon as they got over to the main prison. The noise was deafening, visitors chatting to each other, screws hovering around them all, watching their every move, looking out for anyone who looked suspicious. Harpur stepped forward and placed her money into a small plastic dish. She walked through the security check and was met by a female officer to be frisked. Harpur was panicking, her heart was racing. Even though she knew she was clean, she always had a vision that they were going to find something on her. Daft, but she always went through the same emotion. Joseph loved getting searched, he giggled and pulled his pockets out showing he was hiding nothing either.

  At last, all the visitors were searched and ready to go into the main prison where their loved ones would be waiting for them. Harpur passed a twenty pound note over to her husband. There was no way the tight get would fork out any money when he didn’t need to. “Will you get the drinks and get our Sam some crisps and chocolate, you know which ones he likes?” Neil took the money and shoved it inside his pocket. He never replied. Joanne straightened her hair and pushed her breasts out in front of her.

  The family walked through the doors and Joseph spotted his father first, then started to run towards the table he was sitting at. “Daddy, daddy!” he screamed. Harpur choked up and her eyes started to cloud over. What was wrong with her lately, she cried at the least thing. It was all since her brother’s death really.

  The day of the funeral would haunt her forever and it was probably the reason her emotions were all over the place at the moment. It didn’t seem real, it was just like a bad dream that never went away. She could see it, every time she closed her eyes it was there. The minute the hearse pulled around the corner and she spotted Brady’s coffin in the back of it, her world fell apart. Was he really inside there? Was this the end of his existence? It was such a heart-wrenching day. Harpur couldn’t deal with death. It scared her, the unknown. And in the past she’d run a thousand miles from any bereavement if she could. But there was no running from this, there was no escape. She had to face it head-on. Brady had been in the chapel of rest for over three days and even though she’d been there with her mother, she could never set foot inside the room where he was laid. How could she sit there with him, looking at the brother she loved so much? He couldn’t talk to her, he couldn’t laugh anymore or give her any advice. All she could have done was whisper her last goodbye to him. It was as though in her eyes, if she never said goodbye, then it wasn’t real. Sheila, however, had sat for hours with her son, talking to him, touching his cold skin, playing with his hair, straightening his clothes, talking about the day just gone. No, she could never do that, never in a million years. The hearse was full of wreaths and flowers and a photo of her brother stood on the top of the coffin. She never took her eyes from that image all the way to the church. The day was bright and sunny and the pied piper played all the way to the chapel of rest. Harpur and a lot of his family members walked behind the car all the way there. It was a sign of respect, to show they were strong, to do him proud. The neighbourhood was out that morning and each of them made the sign of the cross as the funeral passed th
em. Harpur even stood up in the church and told the people who loved him all about the life Brady had led. She never told them the dark side of it though, no, she kept his memory clean. Nobody had to know about the bad choices he’d made, the tears he’d caused. The priest knew though, he was given every last detail of the deceased’s past. On his visit to the family home, Sheila had told him all about Brady’s addiction to heroin and how it had changed the son she loved so much. She blamed everybody but her son. Every friend he’d ever had got the blame for the choices he’d made. It was never him, she turned a blind eye to it all. Brady’s mother confessed all to the priest, everything she knew about the life her son led. How can anyone ever get over the loss of a loved one anyway? Did the pain, the aching in their hearts, ever leave them? When the coffin was lowered to the ground, Harpur stood above it with her family close by. Red roses were given to them all to place on his coffin. It was such a sad day, and one she would never forget. It was all over now, there was nothing left but his memory. No second chance, no coming back.

  Harpur let Joanne hug and kiss Sam first. She was all over him like a rash and it was a bit embarrassing to watch. Sam smiled at his mother and wrapped his arms around her. She was the only woman he could totally trust, the one who stood by him no matter what. “Hiya mam, how have you been?” Harpur smiled gently and hid the fact that her life was in tatters. There was no way she would burden him what was going on. Sam took the news of his uncle’s death badly too. The two of them had a strong bond and he was always trying to help get Brady clean when he was on the out. He’d take him out with him, buy him clothes, anything to keep him away from the drugs. But Sam was a hypocrite, he was involved in the drugs world too. That’s why he’d landed himself in the slammer. Harpur hated drugs, they were the root of all evil, stole children from families, changed people into zombies. Sam was not allowed to attend the funeral of his uncle. The prison service said it needed to be a direct member of his family before they could even consider letting a prisoner attend and Sam didn’t fit the criteria. How sad was that. Somebody needed to look at the prison rules again and have a bit of sympathy for inmates who lost someone they loved. Where were their hearts?